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April 01, 2009

Bill Clinton Disses the Pope: Give Him an "A" for Audacity

I knew it was only a matter of time before some immoral liberal dirt bag would do it and it is only fitting that it would be the most immoral liberal politician (and, fittingly, the most popular) on the American political landscape today. Yes, the pope is being honored by hundreds of millions of people -- Catholic and non-Catholic, Christian and non-Christian all over the globe. This great religious leader isn't even in the ground yet and our country's most immoral liberal politician, Bill Clinton, is slamming the poor old Pontiff:

Clinton told reporters, the pope "centralized authority in the papacy again and enforced a very conservative theological doctrine. There will be debates about that. The number of Catholics increased by 250 million on his watch. But the numbers of priests didn't. He's like all of us - he may have a mixed legacy."

Were I the pope, mourners wouldn't be able to getting a good view of my body because it would be spinning -- spinning before it even made it into the grave at the thought of Clinton comparing my legacy to his or, worse yet, Clinton comparing his legacy to mine.

Now, I'm not a Catholic and I've got some pretty strong disagreements with the pope on a number of issues: peace is great if you can get it, but war serves a great purpose and were it not for war, the pope would probably have been slaving in the gulag until his death; being pro-life is great, but the rhythm method ain't exactly birth control; and while ripping babies out of the womb is evil, frying evil people isn't. But there's no doubt that the pope was a great man. He did more for the cause of Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular than any religious leader in the modern era. His legacy will live forever:


In his 26 years as pope, John Paul II traveled hundreds of thousands of miles, taking Christianity to millions of people. Although they worked opposite ends of the ideological spectrum on the issue of defeating communism and ending the Cold War, there was probably no single person, save Ronald Reagan, who did as much to bring about the fall of the Soviet Union and communist Eastern Europe than John Paul II. He was truly a giant among men. Nothing mixed about this great religious leader's legacy at all.

Coincidentally, the solid, moral legacy of John Paul II runs the same timeline as the legacy of the man who hitched a ride on Air Force one only to arrive in Rome courtesy of George W. Bush and diss the pope by insinuating that the pope's legacy was "mixed" as, presumably, others view his own legacy. Since he brought it up, comparing the legacy of Pope John Paul II and Bill Clinton might be instructive:

Long about 1978, as Karol Józef Wojtyla was ascending to the papacy, Bill Clinton had just begun a failed term as Arkansas governor that would get him kicked out of office on his ass in 1980. Around this same time, he allegedly perpetrated the rape of a supporter, Juanita Broaddrick. From 1980 to 1982 he mostly moped about feeling sorry for himself until he was re-elected governor in 1982. During the 1980's his mediocre gubernatorial administration was marred by scandal: crooked land deals, sex scandals, wild governor's mansion parties starring his druggie half-brother Roger and, oh yeah, and he managed to raise Arkansas from 50th out of 50 states to 49th out of 50 states in education. And let's not forget that Little Rock Arkansas became the center for Indoneisian banking in the U.S. during his term as governor.

With his incredible legacy building, Clinton began contemplating a run for the White House. It was at about this time -- the late eighties/early nineties that he cornered Paula Jones in a hotel room, dropped his drawers and asked her to "kiss it" an indiscretion for which he (or rather an insurance company) paid $850,000 without Clinton admitting guilt(sure). Shortly before during or after this great legacy-building episode he was caught on tape promising a girlfriend, Gennifer Flowers, a job in Arkansas government.

Slick Willie then left the ambitious gubernatorial legacy behind him as an apathetic and ignorant public (and the candidacy of Ross Perot) elected him to his first term as president. In 1996, more ignorance, apathy, a good economy he had nothing to do with, and taking credit for Republican welfare initiative he reluctantly signed got him elected to a second term. During his presidential terms we had a failed attempt at a socialist health care scam, and unelected co-president, higher taxes, kiddy bake sales to wipe out the deficit, dead White House staffers in Fort Marcy Park, lying about BJs in the Oval Office, pimping the Lincoln bedroom for campaign cash, lost billing records and a huge Clinton legal defense fund with poverty stricken little Democrat grandmas as contributors. By 2000, his legacy was so weak, his veep couldn't win running on it but Clinton himself was on the cusp of being rich beyond his wildest dreams. Now his legacy consists of a $165 million presidential library the self-absorbed jackass rushed to complete that looks amazingly like the world's most expensive trailer, being the rock star politician of the Democratic Party and, of course, having the audacity to even presume to compare his legacy to that of a great moral man such as John Paul II.

Posted by Steve at April 1, 2009 12:00 AM

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Comments

Your hysterical rant is precisely why we Catholic Europeans want less and less to do with an increasingly unpredictable America. Before you pour the sins of centuries on the head of your one president, go and read the history of the papacy and your American presidents for that matter. Is President Clinton the only "immoral" man left in America? What kind of person writes with this level of sustained hatred? Surely no good can come of it.

Posted by excet at April 8, 2005 07:29 AM